CONSCIOUS PARENTING “Mother Wounds”!

MOTHER WOUNDS: CONSCIOUS PARENTING!

If you suffer from the Mother Wound you will experience the following problems:

(For females) constantly comparing yourself with, and competing against, other females

• Sabotaging yourself when you experience happiness or success

• Possessing weak boundaries and an inability to say “no”

• Self-blaming and low self-esteem that manifests itself as the core belief: “There is something wrong with me”

• Co-dependency in relationships

• Minimizing yourself to be likable and accepted

• The inability to speak up authentically and express your emotions fully

• Sacrificing your dreams and desires for other people unnecessarily

• Waiting for your mother’s permission on an unconscious level to truly live life

Mother Wounds are developed at a young age and are bound by the belief that “I was responsible for my mother’s pain,” and “I can make my mother happy if I’m a good girl/boy.” The truth is that we weren’t and still aren’t responsible for our mother’s pain – only she is. We also can’t make our mothers happy unless they truly decide to be happy. Yet unfortunately, as children we were not aware of this and on a subconscious level many of us still believe that we are the culprits of our mother’s angst. CITED SOURCE ~LONER WOLF WEBSITE~

Khamsin’s PERSONAL MOTHER WOUND:

My first traumatic memory, at 5 years old I went into the living room and found drugs on the table. I was distraught. I begged her not to do drugs, I told her how it changes her. She didn’t stop and this made me feel

like I was the reason. Having a child born with a painful rare blood disease has to be tough. I believe she was coping the best way she knew how. This led to years of poverty, a decreased feeling of being safe, we moved a lot. We went from being upper middle class to section 8, living in one of the worse parts of my city. This place is filled with horrible experiences like attempted rape by ppl in the neighborhood, I had to fight to stop the bullying. I witness my mother get arrested, I was dealing with the crack epidemic on a personal level! I used to throw away any drugs or paraphernalia if I could found it. Desperate to get my mother back but it never worked. My mother wound made me feel

1. Unworthy to be loved

2. Invisible, as if my feelings didn’t matter

3. Hypersensitive and codependent in relationships

4. The inability to speak up and say no. Because when I did say no, like in the case of refusing to give her my money to get high, she punished me with unimaginable emotions and psychological warfare

5. Shame, I was the black sheep, though I tried very hard to be everything she wanted in a daughter

6. Her bi-polar attitude and explosions of anger put me in a state of fight or flight, which I am now healing as a 40 year old woman. I can truly say being raised by a narc mom made me the empath I am today!

7. I BECAME A SELFLESS MARTYR WHILE BEING ACCUSED OF BEING SELFISH BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO GIVE HER MONEY! This was a daily routine for over 20 years.

• EARNEST MOTHER WOUNDS

1. There was a superficial standard of pride for me to do extremely well in school, because it made her happy, and if I didn’t she was very disappointed with me!

2. I was punished for making C’s and less all throughout school.

3. I participated in football and basketball growing up and in college, and the first game my mother ever attended was in college.

4. She did not show me much love and affection, but the discipline and correction was extreme.

5. I was abused! I was whooped with belts, switches, and combs as a result of doing anything that mad her mad. (( I remember and will never forget the occasion she made me put my head between the end table and couch to wedge my head so that I couldn’t get away from the belt whooping. ))

6. She attempted to match me up with girls she thought to be good for me. (( while in high school I remember one occasion she tried to get me and another girl from our church together. I refused cause she was not my type whatsoever. ))